Living in the Broom Closet

Written by: Oceana

I think about this problem almost every day. Why is it so difficult to take the step of openly acknowledging your religion, even just to your own family? I do not really know why it is so thoroughly frightening.

On the other hand, why should I tell anyone? I could just as well carry on living in the broom closet, practising my faith without anybody knowing.

As time has passed and my faith has grown stronger, staying in the closet has become more and more distressing. I feel I can never be entirely myself, but have to pretend to be something else. I must watch my words in case I accidentally let something “suspicious” slip. I hide my books and tools whenever someone visits.

What am I afraid of, then? Probably my parents’ reaction most of all. They are not particularly religious themselves—my father is not even a member of the church—but they are rather conservative and wary of anything outside the ordinary. If I went and told them who and what I really am, the smiles might disappear and nobody would find much to laugh about.

I love my parents more than anyone in the world. They are my greatest support and shelter when life is hard. I want to be honest with them, but not at the cost of causing trouble between us, now that our relationship is finally good after years of struggle.

Perhaps I am wrong about my parents. Perhaps they would accept it. You cannot know until you try. But is it worth taking that risk?

Perhaps I will wait a little longer, peeking cautiously through the closet door. Perhaps one day …

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