Becoming the Witch I Am

Written by: CeriMama

I found Wicca about a year and a half ago. Like many others, I have a background in conventional Lutheran Christianity.

I am very happy to have found a worldview that supports what I have always been. For more than forty years I suffered because I did not dare give myself permission to be the witch I was born to be.

As a child I had no friends. I was a bit of an oddity, the “foster girl” of the family. Summers were spent at a seaside cottage without anyone my age. I was bitter about it sometimes, but looking back, those years helped the witch inside me connect with nature. When you cannot talk to people, you learn to listen to the sea, the forest and the stones.

I have never questioned the existence of magic. There was nobody to guide me, but solitude helped me develop that side of myself as well. Building stone circles and using talismans felt natural when nobody was there to stare, forbid or question. It was comforting to feel that I could influence events myself instead of being a helpless piece of driftwood.

Conscious study and sharing experiences, though, are gifts of these years since I found my religion. It is almost unbelievable to be able to talk about such things without being laughed at or condemned—and to know there is a religion that allows, accepts and supports the abilities I want to develop.

At present Wicca answers completely to what I believe life is about. Lately, however, I have also felt Finnish deities calling me, and perhaps one day I will find my way somewhere between Finnish paganism and Wicca. Or something quite different, so long as it lets me be what I am: a witch.

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